By Cris Hayes
I’m a man who was diagnosed with DCIS and had a right-side mastectomy on April 21, 2025. Thank you for the work you do—and for making room for patient voices like mine.
How It Began
I found the lump in a simple, ordinary moment—after a shower, I always use lotion to prevent any dry skin. After I finished applying the lotion, I wiped the excess on my chest, and that's when I first felt the bump near my right nipple.
The following week, I showed my GP, and she scheduled a mammogram. Little did I know I was about to embark on a life-changing journey. The day of the mammogram I arrived early at North Atlanta Breast Care, with no clue what was about to occur. I stepped into a world unknown to men.
The mammogram did its job; the “squisher/smasher” was no doubt invented by a grumpy old “get off my grass” man. But they discovered an area of interest, and 2 days later, I had a biopsy. The biopsy confirmed I had cancer. I then met with my doctor, confirmed the plan, and had a right mastectomy.
When the follow-up said no chemo, radiation, or medication would be required, that was great news. Dr Fernando explained that the cancer was far enough away from the chest wall, and my lymph nodes were clear. He said I was cancer free. At that moment, I felt like it was over, that I had all of this in my rear-view mirror. I was wrong...
The Part I Didn’t Expect – Lymphedema
After the relief from “All Clear” came the education: lymphedema risk and then lymphedema itself. For me, that looked like cording, swelling, and a distinct discomfort from fluid buildup. It wasn’t dramatic on day one. It showed up in smaller ways—tightness, heaviness, and low energy levels. I went from believing I was “done” to accepting that I had a new set of responsibilities.
That shift—from “over” to “ongoing”—was hard. It helped when my care team framed it plainly: this is part of recovery, not a failure of it.
The Professional Who Changed My Trajectory
Alpa—my lymphedema therapist—has been central to my recovery. Her guidance is the difference between reacting to problems and preventing them. She taught me what “early swelling” feels like for me, how to distinguish helpful stretch from harmful strain, and how to adjust activity instead of abandoning it. She keeps things in check, yes, but equally important, she gives me insight and skills so I can navigate a tricky recovery with confidence.
Continuity with one therapist who knows my story has been invaluable. Each visit builds on the last; nothing is reset or re-explained. That continuity reduced fear and improved my willingness to do the exercises.
Daily Management
I wear my compression vest every day. I call it a “Manzier” or “the Bro.” I do have favorite vests--these do not stretch or slip, they are easy to clean, and match almost all my shirts. Side note - black vests do not work with white shirts.
I had to get used to wearing the compression vest, and experienced neck pain, shoulder and back pain due to my body fighting the pull. But now it works. It keeps my lymphedema controlled, and it lets me stay active with fewer setbacks. And it also provides extra storage—I’ve learned to tuck small essentials there. Humor aside, the vest is essential equipment for me.
The Mental Side
After the “all clear,” I expected my mind to quiet down. It didn’t. I still ask myself, “Do I have cancer somewhere in my body?” That question doesn’t vanish with logic. For me, it gets quieter when I have a clear plan and I follow it.
I needed permission—from myself and my clinicians—to say out loud when my anxiety was high. Naming it didn’t make me weak. I learned to do one concrete thing from my plan. That might be a walk, self-care, a quick measurement, or sending a message to my therapist. The mental ping-pong is real and long-lasting. A plan and people who support you make it manageable.
I cannot imagine what women go through in the full spectrum of breast cancer experiences. My respect is enormous. This changed my life in ways I never expected. Cancer and lymphedema required me to pay attention—to my body, my schedule, and my mental health—in a sustained way.
The Messages I’d Wished I’d Heard Sooner
If I could send a short list back to myself the day before surgery, it would say:
- The “all clear” ends one chapter and begins another. That isn’t failure; it’s the path.
- Swelling, cording, and discomfort are common and treatable. Report early; don’t push through it in silence.
- You’ll get used to compression. Use it to live more, not less.
- Measure and note small changes. It’s not obsessive; it’s effective.
- Your anxiety is understandable. Say it, then take one step from your plan.
What Helped Most
- Clear framing of recovery as a long process. Hearing, “You’ll have good weeks and bad weeks; both are normal,” reduced discouragement during fluctuations. This occurred on my 1st visit with Alpa, I was shocked to hear what the future might have in store for me.
- An actionable home program that I could do even on low-energy days—no complex decisions required.
- Proactive lymphedema contact early, before symptoms escalate: baseline, education, and a direct line for questions.
- Permission to use humor. A light moment about the vest’s “storage capacity” didn’t minimize my condition; it made the environment more human and kept me engaged.
- Support Group – I must be around others in the same boat. The experience, strength, and hope of the group are my painkillers.
Closing
I started this journey in a bathroom, noticing a change while applying lotion. I’m living it now with a daily routine, a compression vest I rely on, and a therapist—Alpa—who has been a steady anchor and teacher.
The “all clear” was a blessing from God. The days since have been real and sometimes challenging, but God is always there to catch me and help me overcome.
I am grateful for the clinicians and therapists who listen, who teach, and who treat the long tail of recovery with the same seriousness as the surgery itself.
Thank you for seeing patients like me, for making space for men in this conversation, and for helping us keep moving forward—practically, safely, and with dignity. If anyone wants to talk specifics about routines, adjustments that worked for me, or how I use the vest day-to-day, I’m happy to share.
